Natalie's Amazing Time in "Nature"

I really feel like it is impossible to just sit somewhere and relax when there is so much to stress over: sculpture, work, my boss, people in my life, this stop motion project, photography project, work, money. This feels.....impossible. It makes my blood pressure rise and distracts me from things like relaxing, Or fun.
It doesn't matter if you're outside with nature or listening to music or alone in some quiet room. I am always thinking.
And God forbid I actually stop thinking about my temporary stresses; then I start thinking about larger and more profound things. I think about the significance of life, my life. I wonder what my future has in store; I hate not knowing what's going to happen. (I just interrupted my thoughts because this lead is super shiny and it smells like pot out here). I think about my relationships with other people and assess them. I can sometimes get really out there and contemplate things like the existence of god or a soul or something.
I worry a lot.
If I really start thinking about these things then Im really in for it. I'll be distracted all day from my thoughts, which continues into keeping me up at night. I don't have the time for all that stuff right now.
Although, This does help me with my projects sometimes. I like making projects super conceptual. I like making projects that are about something I think is important or that I spend time thinking about. I just don't have time for all this thinking. Art, when in art school, is super forced. It's hard to make well thought out art when its so forced.
There is some fat thing flying next to me with such a mechanical beating of its wings that it sounds like an engine. And it's annoying. And it one more thing falls out of this tree, I'm leaving this place.
There isn't much to say about my surroundings. It's hot outside, even in the shade. I can't even pretend that I'm in nature. There are these annoying girls talking and my "ambient sounds" are cars...and now a siren. This makes me think about my car. (Not that I can park in Norman or anywhere else at this friggin school, with its ridiculous parking). Now I have to repair it. Stupid old lady just drove into my car. Now my neck hurts.
It still smells like weed.
There are way too many people here who walk with their noses in the air. I hate that attitude. I feel like telling them to take that stick out of their ass. I can't handle that "I'm better than you" attitude. And so many people here have it. Ugh. Stop it, UF people. Teachers, frat boys, sorority girls, other girls (generalizing): quit it. No one likes that. You are not that cool.
This area I'm sitting in has a retarded layout. These stairs are useless. I actually have to walk upstairs, just to walk downstairs so I can go inside the building. What the hell is that? What a waste of materials and time.
I think i'm being negative today....